The return of a phobia.

As a kid in Thailand I was often mocked by my older brother Krister regarding my fear of cockroaches which often resulted in me standing on a chair screaming until some poor soul would come save me with one of dad's shoes in one hand and a spray can of insect spray in the other. This fear kept me from going into the kitchen at night for fear of seeing something huge and leggy scuttling away as teh light was turned on etc etc.

I'm older now though. Mature. I realize that cockroaches are nothing but an six legged insect like so many other creatures of this earth. I've turned brave and happily pointed out one humongous cockroach on the street corner after the other to Clara and laughed at her frightened yelps. Haha! Silly one that Clara for being scared at cockroaches.

On our second day at our second guest house in Chiang Mai however things took a turn. While lazing about in the guest house garden, reading and enjoying warmth, we were told to leave and stand on the street for a few minutes while the places was sprayed against insects. A big thick smoke covered the place and spicy chemicals stung our nostrils. Upon returning to our room Clara finds a big 2 inch cockroach crawling on her bag and her yelps scare it enough to scuttle off into the bathroom. Haha. Silly one that Clara for being scared of cockroaches.

We later find the same cockroach on his back in the middle of the bathroom, assumed dead. We attend of buiness of bathrooming, makeuping and other girly duties by cleverly just minding our feet not to step on it since neither of us can be bothered to remove it.

Later. At 4:30 am to be precise I am awakened by a very sore and urgent bladder. I go the bathroom only to find that the cockroach has moved itself just a few inches away from the toilet. And it's not dead. It's thin icky legs are scratching the air. I'm too tired to care and climb over the cockroach and drop my PJs to my ankles. And as I sit there, monged and staring into space and casually looking at the pathetic squiggling cockroach I decide that the time has come. My fear of cockroaches is over for good. I'm going to kill the cockroach once and for all.

So I take the conveniently placed shampoo bottle and wrap some tissue around it and move in for the kill. But as I am just about to hear the squish of the dead bug I hesitate, scared of how gross that squish actually will sounds, and in my moment of weakness the devil of a bug clambers on the tissue, climbs up the bottle and then flings himself into the air, makes a somersault and lands perfectly on his feet and scurries into the corner. I give out a piercing scream but as Clara is sleeping next door I remember to keep my lips shut resulting in my scream sounding more like a mouse trying to imitate a panicking elephant. I stand up and pull up my trousers.

I need to get out of this hell of a bathroom.

The cockroach clearly can read my mind, does a 180 degree turn and comes charging towards me. Once again I pierce the room with my mousish elephant scream, end up jumping in a puddle of water completely weting myself and start frantically flapping my hands with t-rex arms! Then comes my MacGyver moment. I leap over the cockroach, burst the door open and in one swift movement I manage to shut off the light, slam the door shut and leap on to the bed removing me wet Pj trousers in mid air and dive under the covers. Panting I keep seeing in my inner mind how the evil demon cockroach has gathered all his army and will at any moment come charging out of the bathroom towards me and I will die much like Mostafa gets trampled by the antelopes in the Lion King.

But nothing happens. The room is silent and Clara keeps on snoozing completely unaware of the battle at hand.

But for hours I can't sleep and my mind repeating frightful images of cockroaches on backs scratching the air.

Haha. Silly that Annika for being scared of cockroaches.